Monthly Archives: June 2008

EPA Scandal

After the Supreme Court in 2007 ruled that if greenhouse gases were found to endanger public health vis-a-vis the Clean Air Act, the EPA was to take action.  Consequently, the EPA sent a 250-page report to the White House via e-mail explaining their proposal to limit greenhouse gases in December, which the White House refused to open.  Now, the Bush-appointed administrator of the EPA is expected to issue a statement that outlines the issues facing greenhouse gases, but will not mention whether they should be regulated.  Let’s take a look at some of the other quasi-important messages in the president’s inbox:

            Before I go into detail over how unfortunate it is that the Supreme Court has affirmed the right to “pop a cap in yo’ ass” (I’m paraphrasing Scalia here), I am obliged, in Washington style, to heap some sort of praise on the justices for their efforts.  It is often difficult to revise Constitutional issues, especially when people on both sides attack the Court for being too liberal, too conservative, too soft on crime, too restrictive on free speech, too abortion-friendly, etc., etc.  Whichever “side” prevails in the 5-4 decisions—the neo-liberal or the neo-conservative—each justice is on the side of America, hoping that his/her position on the Constitution will result in the greatest good for the greatest number of people.  There is no conspiracy to impose certain values on the country, just a genuine desire to make society more just and equitable while maintaining the principles of the founding generation.  Obviously, what is right is not always popular and vice versa (i.e. Dred Scott, Korematsu, Plessy) but they are human and can make a boner every few decades and still maintain their street cred.  If they truly believe that this ruling will maintain our freedoms while still maintaining order, then so be it.

            However, the boner made in today’s D.C. v. Heller decision is significant not only because it deals with a right granted to protect life, liberty, and property; but since, gun ownership can potentially be used to deprive others of their own life, liberty, and property.  The Second Amendment is different from every provision guaranteed by the Bill of Rights in that a gun is designed to kill and will kill if placed into human hands.  The rights of speech, petition, assembly, etc. are not inherently deadly.  The Constitution was ratified at a time when local militias formed the backbone of defense, when America was a group of colonies huddled against the east coast, when the Spanish and Indians were knocking on our back door, and when we were not entirely sure that the French and the British were ready to leave us alone (they were not).  Little boys and sometimes little girls were schooled in proper gun use and dueling was an acceptable (though not necessarily legal) means of conflict resolution.  Thomas Jefferson even advocated exercise that involved long walks alone with just your gun to clear the mind.  Yes, the west was conquered with guns, but with a good percentage of Americans being latte-sipping, SUV-driving, YouTube watching junk food addicts, we are not in a position to conquer much of anything.  But who are our enemies now?  Is there a city in America that would benefit from having more guns in the hands of citizens rather than more police officers on the street?            

The main argument against gun regulation boils down to this: “We can’t penalize law-abiding citizens from owning guns to use as protection against criminals.”  In nearly every defense of the Second Amendment, the proponent will use the words “law-abiding” and “criminal.”  Well, what does that nomenclature describe?  Law-abiding people are inferred to be those who have guns but do not use them to break laws, but criminals are those who use guns in order to break laws.  But that is an awfully fine line, don’t you think?  Suppose one of these law-abiders has a bad day at work, or gets dumped by his girlfriend, or gets a parking ticket; and the next thing you know, he starts shooting people up at the bus stop?  (I realize that the moment when the individual shoots someone is when he ceases to be a “law-abider”; however, linguistic nit-picking is petty when the conversation is about how to save lives.)  Not all crazy people or those with criminal intentions parade that fact around when looking to buy a gun.  In the current economic climate, how “law-abiding” would someone be if he is frustrated after being laid off from a job or cannot afford gas and food?  Frustrated enough to peg the first person who asks for the time of day?  Or another thing: this is America we are talking about—and America has no dearth of hurried, harried, depressed, oblivious, or otherwise stupid people.  What if a person reaches for her cell phone, pulls out the handgun by mistake and shoots her ear off?

            I would love to live in a world where there are no guns.  But the Court’s ruling is now taking us down the opposite road to where everyone could have a gun.  How would you like walking down a crowded street not knowing who is packing heat and who is ready to snap?  What would happen if a meter maid were in the middle of issuing a parking ticket but then the pistol-carrying car owner shows up?  Might not the city see a drop in ticket revenues?  What would happen if a gun-toting white businessman were walking down the street but became startled by a black homeless person?  And everyone knows what would happen if children see their parents carrying guns around—they would covet the opportunity to use one on their own.  If teenagers are deadly with cars, imagine how irresponsible they could be with guns.

            Finally, the point is made that “law-abiding” citizens would only use the guns in self-defense.  Well, what if such a person cannot discern when a gun would be appropriate and when it would not?  Or what if the person shoots a bystander instead of the intended target?  That is what Vice President Cheney did, after all.  Will this lead to western saloon-style shootouts in the streets of cities across America?  That does nothing to “promote the general welfare” of the country.  The Court did acknowledge that local jurisdictions had discretion in applying laws limiting gun use; does this mean that a lawsuit could be filed for discrimination if one city or one state bans handguns while another does not?  Will we have to allow guns in every corner of the country?  Or maybe more thatn guns: Justice Scalia devotes a good deal of space in his opinion to define the key words and phrases of the Second Amendment.  He shows “arms” to mean “any thing that a man wears for his defence, or takes into his hands, or useth in wrath to cast at or strike another” by a 1771 definition.  So, why should that just include guns?  I should be able to keep a few cannon, a case of grenades, and a bow and arrow collection for my defense.  Who knows—if I hear a sound outside my house in the middle of the night, I might chuck a grenade out into the street in the name of self-defense, right? You know, I thought we were trying to export the positive aspects of democracy to the Middle East, not import the negative aspects of insurgent rule.

6/26

(Now part of the main page)

Week of June 16 — Thriller Night

On Sunday’s 60 Minutes, Lesley Stahl profiled the phenomenon known as “sleep”–chiefly how much we need and the effects of not getting enough.  In 1960, Americans were getting a median of eight hours of sleep each night; now the median is 6.7.  Less sleep leads to more eating, reduced brain activity, moodiness, and development of signs of diabetes.  In fact, research showed that lack of sleep contributed to the Chernobyl and Three Mile Island nuclear disasters, the Exxon Valdez oil spill, and a Staten Island ferry crash that killed 11.  Though it seems shocking, sleep deprivation has actually been the cause of a number of catastrophes, including the examples below.

Week of June 9 — Situation Normal

Police in Washington, D.C. have set up checkpoints in the Trinidad neighborhood now that 22 murders have occurred there this year to date, a handful of which happened just one weekend ago.  Although people are allowed to enter if they have a “legitimate purpose,” civil rights groups are complaining that “Trinidad should not be treated like Baghdad.”  In response, Congressman Mike Pence (R-IN) asserted that  the District was as safe as “any Indiana market in the summertime” and Senator John McCain (R-AZ) pointed out that he was able to walk unmolested through certain areas of the city with merely a 100-soldier security team and surveillance helicopters for company.

Week of June 2 — School Scandal

A St. Lucie County, FL kindergarten teacher is being investigated because she made her students each tell a five-year-old with behavior problems and autism what they did not like about him.  Then they voted him Survivor-style out of the classroom, 14-2, because the class was studying votes and tallies.  The mother is calling the action emotionally-damaging but upon closer look, the class’s complaints against the boy seem to legitimize his expulsion.

Week of May 26 — Gay Marriage

On May 15, the California State Supreme Court affirmed same-sex couples’ right to be granted marriage lisences, citing a 1948 case that struck down a ban on interracial marriage.  Conservatives are fighting the decision, although it has come as no surprise to many, given the Court’s notoriously activist stance on gay rights and equal opportunity Y.M.C.A. usage.

Justice Military Man, Justice Construction Worker, Justice Leatherman, Justice Indian Chief, and Justice Police Officer

From left to right: Justice Military Man, Justice Construction Worker, Justice Leatherman, Justice Indian Chief, and Justice Police Officer Read More »

            If you remember back to a few months ago, some Americans had gotten rather upset by the comments made by Barack Obama’s minister regarding what God should do to this country and his subsequent irreverence about the statement.  But ostentatious and megalomaniacal black preachers aside, did you know that there was a time when white people also were cursing this country?  In fact, we were not even a nation yet and people despised what we stood for—way back in the turbulent years of the 1760s and ‘70s.  The original “G—d—America” speech occurred before the era of YouTube, and it was a politician rather than a holy man who issued it; however, the person who caught up in the controversy was none other than the witty and esteemed Benjamin Franklin.  Here is the scoop.

************************

            In January of 1774, Franklin was called before the Privy Council of London.  He had been Pennsylvania’s minister to Britain since 1757, and had spent all but two years of that tenure in Europe.  Franklin, while now remembered as one of the greatest Americans, at the time loved and was loved by Europe.  His work with science—specifically the lightning rod, musings about the Gulf Stream, the glass armonica, fireplace designs, etc.—and his work as a printer and author had earned him acclaim with the Royal Academy of Science in France and the Royal Society in London as a scholar and a philosopher.  It was during his European tour that he received several honorary doctorate degrees in law, thus earning him the title “Doctor.”  Quite simply, London was the philosophical and scientific metropolis of the eighteenth century—the city was dirty, the water toxic, the people drunken, the politics opaque, and the prostitutes plentiful, but Dr. Franklin loved being in the midst of intellectuals and personages of consequence.

            Furthermore, Franklin was an all-around amiable gentleman.  He was charming, always had a relevant anecdote at hand, and most importantly, was virtuous enough to beg for the reconciliation of Anglo-American differences in a peaceable way.  After the French and Indian Wars ended, Britain was in debt from decades of conflict with France, and the British subjects on the eastern side of the Atlantic were all taxed heavily.  The colonies, which benefited from the war now that Britain controlled the eastern half of the continent, were chosen for a new tax program in 1766, which included light duties on molasses and paper products (the Sugar and Stamp Acts).  In response, the colonists, led by the rambunctious Massachusettsians, boycotted the Stamp Act and destroyed the homes of tax collectors.  Franklin, who was alarmed at the news once it reached Britain, appeared before the House of Commons at the summons of Lord Rockingham, the prime minister who inherited the fallout from his predecessor’s (Grenville) program.  Franklin’s testimony may have played a role in the repeal of the tax, as he asserted that the colonists already paid taxes of their own, provided the main mode of defense in the war, and had no representation in Parliament, thus ought not be subjected to internal taxes.  The duties were lifted but a Declaratory Act was thrown out to the colonies as a warning that Parliament did indeed have the right to legislate for America.

            Determined to harness American revenues, acting Prime Minister Charles Townshend proposed a series of duties on lead, paint, tea, etc. in 1767 that were met by similar outrage in the colonies—for the additional reason that the taxes would pay for the salaries of royal governors and judges, freeing them from being salaried by the colonial legislatures and thus having any stake at all in the welfare of the colonies.  The Townshend duties were made none the less painful by the quasi-simultaneous passage of the Quartering Act; after New York refused to obey, Parliament suspended their legislature.  Riots and non-importation followed leading the new prime minister, Lord North, to again distance himself from the failed policies of his predecessor by repealing the taxes three years later.  However, the tax on tea remained and was further augmented by the Tea Act of 1773 that granted the financially-destitute East India Company exclusive trading status with the colonies.  In December of that year, Bostonians dressed as Indians boarded a tea ship in the harbor and dumped 90,000 pounds of tea (worth ₤10,000) overboard.  Meanwhile, Ben Franklin, who had been appointed the representative of Massachusetts colony in addition to being Pennsylvania’s, had publicly gone on record as supporting reconciliation with the colonies but also with propers being paid by Parliament to the Americans’ right of representation.  In hopes of improving the colonial reputation, in 1773 he anonymously published letters (leaked by a still anonymous source) written by Massachusetts Royal Governor Thomas Hutchinson that showed Hutchinson advocating stricter measures to bring the rebellious colonial faction to its knees.  Franklin thought that this would shed light on misinformation that Britons were receiving about the depth of American dissatisfaction.  Once the letters reached the Boston Papers, the Massachusetts legislature sent Franklin a petition to present to Parliament asking for the recall of their governor and his lieutenant.

            Parliament naturally was annoyed at this petition and a previous one from Massachusetts, but they were more outraged at the publication of these letters (akin to the Pentagon Papers leak of two centuries later).  Two Britons had dueled almost to the death after one accused the other of being the author when Franklin spoke up about his role in their publication, though he refused to reveal his source.  Consequently, he was called before the Council in 1774 to discuss (what he thought to be simply) how the letters were obtained and why they were published (in his opinion, they were between public officials talking about public matters).  Franklin was ordered to procure council and the hearing would reconvene in two weeks.  Unfortunately for him, in those two weeks news of the Tea Party reached London, and the inquest he was about to receive would take a very different tone.

            On January 29, Franklin entered the building known as the Cockpit—during the reign of Henry VIII it was the site of actual cockfighting, hence the name.  It was now an ordinary government building, but the skirmish today would be appropriately brutal.  Inside, members of the House of Commons, as well as the press and the public, crowded to watch—the Lords were the official audience, and they were hardly pro-America or pro-Franklin.  Franklin’s council, John Dunning, an agent of the Massachusetts legislature, started by arguing that the petition being reviewed and the letters being examined were of political, not legal consequence, and belonged in the houses of Parliament, not in a court of law.  Unfortunately, Dunning suffered from a lung ailment and spoke so softly as to barely be audible.  He only got so far into his argument before the solicitor general of the North ministry, Alexander Wedderburn, jumped up to really start the show.

            What happened next was perhaps the most disastrous diplomatic mistake that the British government could have made.  Wedderburn held the position that he did because Lord North thought, to paraphrase Lyndon Johnson, that it was better to have him inside the government pissing out rather than outside pissing in.  For more than an hour, Wedderburn damned the nearly-seventy-year-old Franklin and the American colonies so vigorously that even the scurrilous British press could not reprint parts of his diatribe.  Charging the Doctor with having “forfeited all the respect of societies and of men” and hoping that the Lords would “mark and brand the man” (this may have been a figurative expression; however this was a time when punishments did actually include marking or branding the perpetrator, so Wedderburn may have meant the worst for Franklin).  He rhetorically asked the Lords assembled whether the “revengeful temper…of the bloody African, is not surpassed by the coolness and apathy of the wily American,” referring to Franklin’s “utmost insensibility of remorse” for infiltrating the governor’s privacy.  He concluded by asserting that the purpose of the angry Americans was “to establish their power, and make all future governors bow to their authority.  They wish to erect themselves into a tyranny greater than the Roman; to be able, sitting in their own secret cabal, to dictate for the Assembly…and to get even a virtuous Governor dragged from his seat, and made the sport of a Boston mob.”  What was in it for Franklin?  Obviously a governorship, of which Wedderburn trusted that the Lords would not see fit to bestow upon such a vile man.

            During the ordeal, the crowd, including some of the Lords, laughed and cheered while Franklin stood silent and still, choosing not to dignify the assault with a response.  He was highly pissed.  Not only was Franklin hopeful of moving to the mother country in his retirement, but he had many British friends and consistently weighed the advantages of a vibrant country against the disadvantage of a corrupt politics.  Now, he could see how the game was to be played.  Immediately after the hearing, the Lords called the Massachusetts petition seditious and rabble rousing, and soon after dismissed Franklin from his appointed position as deputy postmaster of the colonies (a position he had held for twenty years).  Franklin stayed in the country for a year longer, taken up by the moderate voices of Lords Chatham, Howe, and Camden; however, when he attended a speech given by Chatham, another Lord arose and sneered that the address reeked of American authorship, pointing to Franklin and calling him “one of the bitterest and most mischievous enemies this country had ever known.”  That was it, Franklin was out of there.  Before he left, he drafted a letter to the secretary of state for American affairs, demanding that rather than the colonists pay Britain for the tea lost in the Tea Party, Britain should repay Boston for revenues lost during the port closure.  Lord Camden advised Franklin against sending the letter, so Franklin did not and simply left the county.

            As a result, Britain lost a friend and gained an enemy. He was the most famous American in the world at that time and was caught in the unfortunate circumstance of being considered too American by the English and too English by some Americans.  Now, upon his return to Philadelphia he was immediately elected to the Continental Congress, where he was appointed to the committee which drafted the Declaration of Independence (mainly revising Jefferson’s handiwork), the “secret committee” which was charged with obtaining matériel, and of course, he was the minister to France who negotiated the alliance which won the war. 

************************

      So, what is the point here?  Considering the parallels: Reverend Wright was representative of a community (i.e. Britain) that felt as if it had been aggrieved; as a result, he responded using incendiary rhetoric that was divisive to the larger polity (i.e. the empire) but soothing to his followers.  Barack Obama (i.e. Franklin) was loyal to Wright, his mentor and advisor, but once he saw how little good his comments were doing for the country, he had to pick a side based on what he believed.  Obama did what he had to as a politician just like Franklin did as an American.  The assertions that Britain and Wright made toward their larger communities may or may not have been completely true, but they were too emotionally charged for Franklin and Obama, men who promoted progressivism and unity.  The moral being: choose the path that does the most good for the most people.  Or, in the words of Franklin’s Poor Richard character, “A good example is the best sermon.”

 

Source: The First American by H.W. Brands

6/25

“I often think of something my grandfather used to say. He’d tell me, ‘I’m goin’ upstairs to fuck your grandma.’ He was a really honest man. He wasn’t going to bullshit a five-year-old.”

      There was no doubt: George Carlin offended a lot of people. Conservatives, theists, golfers, Baby Boomers, businessmen, and advertisers were among his targets. He was not afraid to use so-called “bad” words and make dirty observations, if only for the sole reason that no one else would. Even the laugh factory known as the Supreme Court called him “indecent but not obscene” in the famous lawsuit by the FCC for his “Seven Dirty Words” routine. But his shtick was not random shock comedy. He logicked his way through our quirks and faults like a college professor, reducing religious conflict to the premise that “My god has a bigger dick than your god!” or pointing out that “Most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place.”
      In that light, his purpose was not to offend but merely to speak the truth; and some people just cannot handle the truth. That humans are self-interested, superstitious, and hypocritical should be no secret. From the way we employ euphemisms to how we pretend not to notice when dogs lick themselves, Carlin got us to laugh at these shared experiences that the average person is either too prude, too passive, or too self-absorbed to talk about. If he was not anti-establishment, he was simply pro-common sense—from his suggestion that we plow up cemeteries and use the land for farming; to the observation that bowling cannot be a sport (because you have to rent the shoes); to the plea that there should be a revised list of Ten Commandments that includes “Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.”
      The man was like a preacher for the non-believers. He recognized that people can be lulled/lobotomized by corporate pandering, religious fairy-tale mongering, and even the made-up lexicon of the airline industry. Not only did he use flowing phrases coupled with harsh invective to turn the language of those in charge against them, but he made us wonder why we are bullshitting ourselves so much of the time.

“People like to sound important. Weathermen on television talk about shower activity—sounds more important than showers. I even heard one guy on CNN talk about a rain event. Swear to God. He said, ‘Louisiana is expecting a rain event.’ I thought, ‘HOLY SHIT, I hope I can get tickets to that!’”

If we appreciated him for making us laugh, he must have appreciated all of us for giving him plenty of material. It’s not like we can honor his memory by becoming, as the human race, less crazy and obsessive. But maybe we can work on taking ourselves a little less seriously. So the next time someone tells you to “have a good one,” be sure to respond by saying, “I already have a good one—I’m just looking for a longer one!”

6/23