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Tag Archives: humor

Kennedy, a federal government employee, published his well-received children's book in 2006.

Kennedy, a federal government employee, published his well-received children's book in 2006.

            Noted children’s book author Edward M. “Ted” Kennedy died on Tuesday night at the age of 77.  Kennedy, who worked in the District of Columbia, was best known for his 2006 book My Senator and Me: A Dog’s-Eye View of Washington, D.C.  The story is narrated by a Portuguese water dog named Splash, who takes the reader on a journey through the city and explores the functions of the federal government.

            The 56-page fiction book, published by Scholastic Press, cemented Kennedy’s reputation as one of the most-admired contemporary children’s writers.  In a press release, Scholastic praised how Kennedy “rose from relative obscurity to pen a unique and touching story that is also an educational lesson” for young Americans.

            Kennedy’s writing style was both humorous and earnest, with the main character telling readers that, “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.”  Kennedy’s collaborator, Caldecott Medal-winning illustrator David Small, said that “If he is only known for one accomplishment, I’m glad that it is this.”

            While best recognized for My Senator and Me, Kennedy lived quietly, working for the federal government for many years.

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           Madam Speaker, I rise in opposition to HR 3200, the so-called healthcare reform bill.

            It is clear that this bill will ( raise taxes / kill jobs / kill puppies ).  This bill, which the Democrat majority hopes will move us toward ( socialism / fascism / homosexualism ), is just an effort to make the government take over ( your health / your house / your dreams ).  The Democratic agenda has failed us thus far.  When we look at the record stimulus passed earlier this year, I ask you, ( Where are the jobs? / Where is the money? / Where is the beef? )

            What my colleagues on the other side of the aisle need to understand is that Republicans represent ( small businesses / middle-class families / the insurance conglomerates that finance our campaigns ).  They say that we have no solution. Our party does have a solution: ( cut taxes / cut taxes and increase spending / cut taxes, increase spending, and blame any problems on the Clinton administration ).

            This health care bill will do one thing only, and that is to enlarge our country’s ( debt / bureaucracy / prostate ).  Democrats say that universal healthcare will cost one trillion dollars.  One trillion!  That is enough to buy ( three F-22s / one unnecessary war in the Middle East / every single member of Congress and their staffs ).

            My constituents don’t want a government takeover of healthcare.  They don’t want us to turn into ( Canada / Europe / Nazi Germany, circa 1939 ).  But that’s right around the corner, folks.  I urge my colleagues to vote against this bill, because it is ( too much, too soon / too little, too late / too big to fail ).